GUIDELINES FOR THE CELEBRATION OF
THE SACRAMENT OF MARRIAGE

INTRODUCTION

Of behalf of the parish family of Saint Stephen Catholic Church we would like to congratulate you both on your upcoming wedding. This is a special time for you with many details to work out: flowers, musicians, mothers, caterers, the right colors to choose, and the list goes on and on.

 REQUIREMENTS

The Prenuptial Investigation. Those helping the couple prepare for marriage, usually the priest, will complete a short questionnaire with the couple. This elicits basic background information and ensures that the couple is free to enter into marriage.

Baptismal Certificate. Catholics will need to obtain a baptismal certificate dated within the last six months from your church of baptism. Baptized Christians are also asked to obtain a baptismal certificate if possible; otherwise we require two affidavits attesting to the baptism.

Marriage Preparation Program. You are required to attend a Marriage Preparation Workshop sponsored by the Diocese of Raleigh. The dates and locations for both the One-Day Workshop and the Weekend for Engaged Couples can be found on the Diocese of Raleigh webpage www.dioceseofraleigh.org . Locate “Marriage” in the “How We Serve” dropdown menu and follow the links. For your convenience you can also register on line.

Dispensations/Permission. When one partner is non-Catholic, or the officiant is a non-Catholic, the priest will help the couple request the proper dispensations and permissions.

Civil Marriage License. For marriage at St. Stephen’s, the couple must obtain a civil marriage license from the Lee County Courthouse located at 1408 S. Horner Blvd (corner of Horner and Courtland). Marriage licenses can be obtained at the new courthouse (behind the old one) on the 2^nd floor; 1^st room on the right. The office is open M-F from 8:00-4:30. You will need your Social Security card and a valid driver’s license. The marriage license costs $60 and is good for 60 days.  Cash Only.

For widows and widowers, an authentic certificate of death of their departed spouses with whom they were married and a marriage certificate of the previous wedding.

Declaration of Nullity, if previously married and the former spouse is not deceased.

Date and Time of Wedding. The date and time of the rehearsal and wedding will be tentatively determined at the first appointment with the priest. The date cannot be finalized until all paperwork and preparation have been completed.

 CONVALIDATION

A Catholic who marries outside of a Catholic church without first obtaining the required dispensation from the Bishop must have his or her marriage validated in the Catholic Church before receiving the sacraments.  Please schedule an appointment with the pastor who will help you with this process.

In this way the Catholic partner recognizes that marriage is a Sacrament of the Church and that s/he is returning to the community of the faithful and may rightfully receive Holy Communion. The requirements and procedures for validation follow the usual preparation for marriage.

 THE CEREMONY

Since the Second Vatican Council the options available to the couple for their wedding have been greatly expanded. At the first meeting you will receive the wedding format and a list of readings. During one of the scheduled meetings with the priest the options and reading selections will be discussed.

Date and Time: Weddings can be scheduled on any day of the week except Sunday provided they do not interfere with the normal or holiday parish schedule of Masses. Saturday weddings are the norm and are scheduled when you meet with the presider. Marriages are not celebrated on Saturday evenings.

Music: The music you select for your wedding must be religious. Secular music is not permitted. The “Bridal Chorus” by Wagner (also known as “Here Comes the Bride”) is a distinctly secular piece of music, and as such, is not appropriate for liturgy. Other music selected must be approved by the Music Coordinator. The couple needs to make an appointment with the Music Minister to discuss music and any instruments other than the organ or piano which the couple may request. If our Music Coordinator/musicians are not available to play for the wedding, other musicians may be used. Soloists and instrumentalists are welcome with the approval of the Music Coordinator. St. Stephen’s does not require the use of a cantor or psalmist for the liturgy.  However if a vocal soloist is scheduled, it is expected that he or she will sing the Psalm. Please review the GUIDELINES FOR SELECTION OF WEDDING MUSIC. Currently the Music Coordinator at St. Stephens is Stephen Roman who can be contacted at musicst@earthlink.net or 776-1532 x206.

Flowers: Up to three floral arrangements may be used in the sanctuary (one in front but not extending above the altar, and two behind the altar on pedestals). Flowers placed in the church for a wedding remain in the church. You may choose your own flowers and florist, but we encourage you to coordinate with other couples being married on the same day. Pew bows may be used. No other flowers or decorations are used in the church except those bouquets carried by the bridal party. No other paraphernalia are to be used during the wedding ceremony, i.e. candelabra, runners, potted palms, etc. Weddings during Lent and Advent must adhere to the more somber tone of the liturgical season.

No artificial flowers of any kind are permitted. The altar is the most sacred place in the church for it symbolizes Christ and therefore, must be the dominant and central focus of all decorations.

Dressing Rooms: There are no formal Bride or Groom Rooms for dressing. Two of our classrooms may be used for gathering and last minute preparations prior to the wedding. You must call the office to schedule these rooms.

Photography: While photography is generally permitted during the ceremony, it is important to remember that this is a worship service. Nothing may be done that interferes with the prayerful nature of the liturgy (which includes both the entrance and exit processions). Photographers may not move about nor may they use flash photography during the liturgy. Photographs may be taken after the wedding, but must be finished no later than twenty minutes after the liturgy ends. This time limit is not a problem when proper planning is done by the photographer.

The furniture in the sanctuary may not be moved or obscured for any reason.

A receiving line in the vestibule of the church is not permitted.

Neither rice, birdseed, nor any other grains may be thrown.

All participants in the wedding should attend the rehearsal.

When both the bride and groom are Catholic, they must be married at Mass. If only one party is Catholic, then the Wedding Ceremony Outside Mass will be celebrated.

The wedding party may choose those to proclaim the readings and the prayers of the faithful. The priest always proclaims the Gospel.

 PLANNING SCHEDULE

Six months before the wedding contact the parish and make an appointment to meet with the pastor. The paperwork can be initiated at this time. You will also receive the Marriage Ceremony Planning Guide and a list of the readings.

You must attend a Marriage Preparation Program. It is best to schedule and attend the program as soon as possible. The results of the FOCCUS will be mailed directly to the parish priest.

Obtain a recent Certificate of Baptism from your church of baptism.

Contact the Music Coordinator for an initial music planning meeting.

Three months before the wedding contact the parish and make an appointment to discuss the ceremony and review the FOCCUS (Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding and Study). During this time you may discuss any questions and make changes in the ceremony. Scripture selections and readers should be designated at this time.

One month before the wedding contact the parish regarding the finalized plans for your wedding. These plans include readings, music, sequence of events, etc. The fees for the musicians should be paid at this time. At this point, you do not have anything to worry about concerning the church ceremony. You can use this final month to concern yourself with other details, civil marriage license, reception coordination, etc.

REHEARSAL

You must bring a Lee County marriage license with you to rehearsal. Also, please be on time! Standard rehearsal times are 5:00 p.m. for a morning wedding, 6:00 p.m. for an afternoon wedding. Because of First Friday devotions, rehearsals for weddings on the first Saturday of the month will be conducted on Thursday.

 YOUR WEDDING DAY

Relax and enjoy! You have invited guests at a specific time, so please help us to accommodate them by starting on time. Also please be reminded that we may have more than one ceremony on any given Saturday.

 OFFERINGS AND FEES

An offering of $250-$500 for the use of the church facilities is customary. The check should be made out to St. Stephen Church.

Customarily, a gift is also given to the priest/deacon.

If you have a visiting priest, the fee is $100. You also will be required to have a Sacristan to set up for Mass and make sure things run smoothly for the visiting priest. The fee for the Sacristan is $50.

The organist/pianist fee is $150 and the check should be made out to the musician.

A fee for an Instrumentalist such as flutist or cellist is $100 and the check should be made out to the instrumentalist.

The cantor fee is $75 and the check should be made out to the cantor.

 CONCLUSION

The Sacrament of Matrimony is concerned with the sacred covenant of love between two persons. This sacrament witnessed before a believing community is made holy in the self-sacrificing witness of the couple who have proclaimed that henceforth they will “become one.” Please be assured of our prayers and support as you prepare for your Sacrament of Matrimony.

                             The pastor and parish staff of St. Stephens Catholic Church

Last modified: March 2010